Saturday, January 3, 2009

unsettled.

There is something that is somehow both calming and terrifying about the realization that maybe, just MAYBE, no matter how hard you work towards your goals, and how much you've fought to actualize your dreams...

you may never, ever achieve them.

I may be nothing more then a disgruntled pharmacy technician. A so-so writer. An infrequent blogger. A struggling college student. A girlfriend who means well but isn't perfect. A good friend who lives too far away to ever visit. A starry-eyed dreamer.

Terrifying.

3 comments:

Danielle* said...

Looks like you and I may have had a similar night. Same thoughts crossed my mind. All of the money I worked hard to make, a 24 CENT overdraw in my account for less than 4 hours. Slammed with THREE 35-dollar fees. Everything's gone, and I'm right back to where I started. I couldn't agree more with your current thoughts. Except, you're far from a so-so writer. <3

Eponine said...

Nothing really happened to bring on these feelings, I was simply up late last night putting some of my old written works into a presentation book, and once these thoughts crossed my mind I could never get them out.

George Bailey had great plans for himself, and George Bailey never left Bedford Falls.

~Gaz~ said...

God I feel the same way all the time. After 6 years of college I still don't know how I'm gonna do as a teacher, I don't know if Wig's band's ever going to go anywhere and if it doesn't what he's going to do for a living, and how we're going to ever afford to get our own place, get married and have a family. Once in a while, it actually brings me to panicking, but most of the time I can convince myself that something will work out. But I used to be so sure of the future and now I have no idea what's going to happen and it scares me shitless. So you're not alone.