Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dear customers:

When you ask "What time does the pharmacy close?" and I answer, "Ten o'clock." there is no need to confirm, "The PHARMACY closes at ten?" English is not my second language. I heard you the first time. I am not mistaken. YES, the pharmacy closes at ten.

Sometimes when I ask you to spell your name, saying things like "B as in boy, R as in rooster, o as in ostrich, w as in William, n as in Nancy." doesn't help. Especially if you say "B, B as in..." then you have me spelling your name BBROWN. Do not be offended if I have to ask you THREE times even after you think you've made yourself clear.

Sweetheart, I am so sorry about whatever happened to you. But the Plan B pill is not affective 6 weeks after the fact. You have to see your doctor at this point. This is a situation where procrastination is REALLY inconvenient.

Sir, I've been waiting on you at least once a week for three years. NO, I am not new. Way to be perceptive.

That "flashing thing" you saw in my coworkers hand? It was a SCANNER. We use it to ring out prescriptions through the register. I know computers may confuse you, but we have to use them to keep track of inventory. The "flashing thing" was NOT a camera, and my coworker is NOT taking a photograph of your credit card so that she can rip you off.

Hi, Mrs. Smith. Your husband left his wallet here? Yes, he just came in looking for it 10 minutes ago. He didn't find it. We didn't find it. How can I help you? Your... husband left his wallet here? Ma'am, it's not here. He already came in and checked. (WHY ARE YOU CALLING? Did you think he didn't ask the right questions?) Ummm... do you want me to take your phone number in case we find it? Okay. Okay. Good.

No ma'am, you cannot pay for those Oreo's with foodstamps. Or those cigarettes. Or that makeup.



I am sooooooooo sick of my job.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

The wallet guy called the cops, he thinks someone took it. He told the cop that it could have been the people behind him... KB looked it up, no one was rung after him for 11 minutes.

Coral (I don't want to make an id)

Eponine said...

I'm 95% certain he is going to find his wallet in his car/pants pocket/house very soon and feel foolish.

the Music of the Night said...

OMG did all this happen today? Fuck ym life i always miss the good stuff!