Friday, July 3, 2009

who I am and who I want to be.

It seems I am always torn between two extremes.

Part of me wants to somewhat revert to being a teenager-- I want my pink hair back, I want my crazy leopard print sheets and decoupaged black walls. I want more tattoos, I want more live music and more friends and more alcohol. A crazy, mismatched wardrobe.

But there's always part of me that says, "You'll never get a good job with pink hair." and: "You don't want to [maybe possibly eventually] be a bride with tattoos that show."

And there's also a part of me that wants to be tall, skinny, plain model pretty. Which is probably a far cry from what I'll ever be... but I can't silence her.

There's this very... adult, responsible, and somewhat sophisticated side of me that stifles the "me" that I really want to be.

I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied until I can merge the two (three?) somehow...

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