Another brush with fame?

I'm sure some of you followers recall how I am with celebrities.

I have this list of people I need to meet. In my head, I'm intelligent and have important conversations with them and they advise me in what I should do next to further my career (I want to work in children's television, if I haven't mentioned that before)-- but in real life, I stand there with a goofy smile on my face, and I say nothing because I feel like... what could really be said? I usually get their autograph and run.

Well folks. I have another chance.

I've found LeVar Burton's legitimate email address.

And honestly, I think he is one of the last TWO people on my list. So far I've either met or corresponded with:

• Tim Noah
• The Wiggles
• Sharon, Lois & Bram
• Rockapella

The only ones left that I can think of are LeVar and Bill Nye.

So now I need to spend the rest of my day trying to figure out what the hell I say in an email so that I'll actually get a good response-- not just "Thanks for being a fan!" like I've gotten once before.

If you have any input, feel free to advise me. I'm such a blithering social idiot sometimes.

(Also: are any of you on Twitter? Follow me!)

If I could have anything in the world...

I would want a crystal ball that, when I looked into it, would show me where my effort would be best spent.

For example: I am currently looking at colleges in NYC. There are a couple that sound interesting, and while I've always leaned toward television production, I also enjoy radio, photography, and have a feeling I would LOVE fashion design.

How do I know which one I should pursue?

This crystal ball would also work well on Job Offers and Boyfriends.

What image do you project?

I gave my 2nd speech in Public Speaking today, and it went well. I was nervous as hell, however (I HATE public speaking), and of course my hands were shaking, my palms were sweating, and I felt like a big idiot the whole time.

We got back these papers critiquing our presentations, and I was shocked at some of the comments I received. My classmates told me I was "confident" and "relaxed", my teacher said I was "sophisticated and in tune with (my) audience".

It amazed me how the image that I FELT I was projecting (nervous, stammering, sweating!) was not at all the same one my classmates picked up on.

I left my class feeling pretty damn good about myself, but somewhere in the day all that fell apart again. It's not important what caused it, but rather what it caused me to realize--

I will never be happy unless I can be happy with myself.

And I'm just not sure that I can ever achieve that. I've been trying my entire life, and no matter what, I'm just never good enough for myself.

In a way, this is positive. I will always strive to achieve more, right? I'll never accept mediocrity. Never settle. Never half-ass. I'll always know that I am capable of more.

But I will also never be satisfied. I will never love myself. I will never expect others to love me because I will see more promise in other potential mates for them, and always doubt myself.

vivid dreaming...

Did you ever meet someone in your dream that you feel like you're destined to meet in real life?

I had one of those last night. I blame watching Heroes before bed, though, because in this dream the male character was holding a knife to my throat, and when I got it away from him and stabbed him, the wound closed up again-- and I'm pretty sure the female character in the dream was either dead and wandering the earth, or immortal.

I haven't actually remembered my dreams upon waking for a VERY long time, possibly months-- and when I do remember them, it's usually just bits a pieces (like this one) and never the whole plot.

I hung up a Dreamcatcher months ago-- maybe that's why?

Okay, I lied.

I'm updating again, but not with good news!

This is simply a list for my own benefit of the things I need to get done ASAP.

1. Write up outline & grab props for a speech I have to give tomorrow (done)
2. Read next chapters in speech book & take notes for quiz (there was no quiz, sweet!)
3. Meet with instructor tomorrow regarding internship (done. didn't really accomplish anything)
4. Fax bank paperwork to Capital One Auto
5. Mail out broken cell phone, laptop, and dress I sold on ebay
6. FIND CHECKBOOK! And mail out check for item I won on ebay.
7. Fill out insurance paperwork. (done? I think?)
8. Pay any bills I might be able to pay. (paid a few)
9. Call insurance and make sure Camry is taken off, and see if AAA is needed. Ask about removing Jay from my policy. (They insisted I put him on even though he doesn't drive my new car, and I don't understand why!)
10. Call woman at Cox Cable about internship
11. Write paper for Film Class (ugh)
12. Do research and investigate upcoming assignments for Journalism
13. File taxes as soon as I get the forms I have been missing

Not so important things:

1. Finish both wall collages I've left half-done for way too long.
2. LAUNDRY!
3. Clean whenever possible (cleaned a lot today)
4. NEED. eyebrow wax and manicure!! Can possibly wait another week or two for a pedicure. DESPERATELY need a haircut.. starting to look like a ragamuffin.

Must go to work now, til... pretty late. Work is greatly impeding my to-do list.

Long time, no see

I haven't had too much to say lately-- nothing has really been going my way, and I'm honestly just sick to death of bitching about it. I'm really hoping that things will turn around quickly, and that I will have some better things to blog about in the very near future.


I'll see you then. :)

Corrupt file.

What mode of defense does a lower class citizen have against a legal system that responds only to money?
To an agressive, irresponsible driver who speeds through a red light, causes a collison, and then pays off witnesses?

Everything has just gotten so fucked up so fast.

Oh, and I almost forgot...

In a moment of completely refined Alison-classiness today, I was getting really tired in class this morning (as I mentioned before, I'm not feeling well), and we were being forced to stand for long periods of time. At one point, the teacher left the room and I crossed my arms and leaned my back and head against what I THOUGHT was a stationary wall.


It... was a temporary wall.

Luckily for me, I noticed JUST as the wall started to topple over, and I was able to shift my weight quickly-- but I still was caught off balance enough to visibly struggle and I let out a "OH SHIT", to which the entire class turned around and I had to explain myself.

Luckily, they laughed with me rather then at me, and I left the class thinking, "SHIT I'm clumsy, but that could have been SO much worse!"

When EVERYTHING attacks...

So after my tattoo on Saturday I suddenly found myself horrendously ill. (Okay, so I've been WORSE, but still it wasn't fun-- a fever and super headache and dry cough and the like.)

On my way HOME from getting said tattoo, my car started making funny noises. Wonderful. Have an appointment to get that looked at and at least diagnosed (if not fixed) this Saturday. It costs $85 just to have them LOOK at it, unfortunately.

And today, my beautiful mini Netbook decided to shit the bed entirely. Apparently I am an idiot (we already knew that) and although I had virus software installed, it was not SET UP or RUNNING. So lovely pieces of malware leeched onto my system and corrupted Windows-- and I attacked with Ad-Aware and ZoneAlarm. The problem? Apparently the malware had corrupted Windows so badly that Ad-Aware saw it as a threat and-- yes you guessed it-- deleted my operating system. *sigh*

So, since my Netbook is so tiny that it doesn't come with a disc drive, I have to ship it out to HP and they'll "restore it to full working order". I hope this means WITH virus protection, or else I'm liable to do this all again...

I spent today in school, in the CVS MinuteClinic (swabs for flu and strep both came back negative, but she's shipping out a strep swab just to double check), and on the phone with various tech supports for over 4 hours. I really just wanted to sleep. Luckily I did manage a nap from around 6 PM to 8*, and I'm feeling loads better. I just hope I don't feel like shit tomorrow morning!



*During said nap, I had a dream that I have apparently had before but never remembered, during which I am one of quintuplets. What's strange is that I don't know my sister's names, and I only see one of them at a time (who, oddly enough doesn't look anything like me, but instead looks like a girl from a set of triplets I knew when I worked at Target-- like my mind isn't advanced enough to create another face that looks like mine). For some reason I know the others are in danger, and I keep trying to snap to them (it was a... quintuplet thing. We had some kind of snapping ritual, the way others might have nicknames or a secret handshake) and they aren't returning the snaps.

Weird, and I'm wondering if it has something to do with my four closest friends being seperated from me...

Naked?

I spent most of my day today naked (well, topless.) in a tattoo parlor. I have a half-finished back tattoo to show for it, which unfortunately doesn't look like much yet. I can't wait until it's done!

I do not like the way my reflection looks in the teapot. I'm well aware of the fact that's not how I actually look, but the fact that even the teapot sees me in that shape just... disgusts me.

First week of classes done, and not bad. Little bit of homework, but I'm mostly caught up with it so it's nothing I can't handle yet. Very nervous about giving a speech about myself for Public Speaking, though. Not exactly sure what to say, as I don't really "know" myself well enough for an entire room of students to feel like they know me.

I suppose I'll figure out some way around this.

Still waiting to get all my tax paperwork in (my evil ex-boss is withholding, either that or sent it to the wrong address and it is currently in limbo) so that I can head to H&R Block, get an instant refund, and start attacking these bills. My front right wheel started making a funny noise today and I really don't need any more expenses!

Well, that's all for now.