Friday, July 31, 2009
It's basically an average of ALL things that make up a British Man and British Woman. I really wish I could find the same article written about Americans!
(In other news. I fit into a size ELEVEN from Charlotte Russe today! Considering I was a size 16 just a short year ago... and not to mention, a size 22 when I lived in Medford as a teenager... I AM SO EXCITED!!!)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
and tucked inside the little envelope was a pay stub and NO CHECK.
Someone fucked up, and they're all refusing to assume responsibility for it. I am SICK of this corporation dicking me around and now NOT PAYING ME.
They screwed up last week, too, and paid me "0.00" an hour for my 27 hours of vacation time.
So they did a cash advance, which subsequently was removed from the hours I DID work this week. (Instead of adding the hours I worked this week to the 27 vacation hours).
I honestly, seriously, without a doubt cannot take much more of this. At all. Really. I'm not even kidding. They're just trying my patience on a daily basis, I am putting up with ridiculous bullshit and now I'm doing it for FREE? I DON'T THINK SO. RENT IS DUE IN TWO DAYS, FUCKERS.
1. Pretty much 90% of my wardrobe comes from Charlotte Russe now. It used to be mostly Kohl's and Old Navy, but I've fallen in love with Charlotte Russe so much it's ridiculous. I could drop $100 a trip there, easy.
2. I couldn't get my nose ring back in the other night, and I cried for 2 hours. (I was also over tired.) I never realized how much my nose ring means to me until I realized I might not have it anymore! I have since re-pierced my nose (with a sewing needle. I am hardcore) so all is well.
3. I go to therapy once a week. It's nothing major, I'm not on meds or at the end of my rope... sometimes it's just good to have someone to talk to, who can offer me a different outlook on my week.
4. My mom and I email back and forth at least once a day.
5. I really, really, want to be a minimalistic neat freak. But I have too much stuff and spend too much time at work-- when I come home, I'm too damn tired to clean!
6. I have a lot of artist plans in the works that I need more motivation to accomplish.
7. I tried smoking pot in my early college days (my boyfriend was a major pothead) but besides smoking with just him, or alone... I HATED it. I'd always get super paranoid and no matter what, I'd think the people I was with were out to get me or talking trash/making fun of me-- even if they were my best friends. I was able to do some really good writing while under the influence, though.
8. Sometimes I feel like I'm too damn responsible, and I should take a break and let people look after ME for a change.
9. I love singing Karaoke, but with the exception of playing Rock Band, I haven't rocked the mic in almost 2 years now.
10. I can't wait until I'm out of debt (or at least, much LESS in debt.) I feel like I've been in debt forever, and none of the money I bring home from work is actually MINE.
11. I took 6 college classes last semester and worked full time. The trick was to get going and NOT STOP for a second. If I sat down, my exhaustion caught up with me immediately. I plan on doing the same thing this semester, as well. I want to get out of college FAST.
12. I am so bad with math it's ridiculous. This is coupled with a math anxiety problem, which literally makes me freeze up out of fear. At our yardsale last weekend, I had to subtract 7 from 20. Easy, right? Well unfortunately the customer was standing right over my shoulder watching me, and I panicked and actually needed a calculator. This only stands to embarrass the hell out of me and make the anxiety worse.
13. Along the same vein with math anxiety-- I have a hard time reading clocks with minute and second hands, and if someone says "it's quarter of/quarter after/half past/quarter til..." I have a really hard time breaking down what they mean.
14. I can't wait til I have a place that I can paint myself. I want red walls.
15. I LOVE mens boxer briefs. You know, the kind that are tight on the thighs? I'm a total thigh girl... screw arms and pecs and asses... I am all about the thighs.
16. I was devastated when Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling broke up. I've never been much into celebrity couples, but I LOVED them. That, and people have told me before that I look like Rachel, & I think my boyfriend looks like Ryan.
17. I hate talking on the telephone, but I love text messaging. If I could get a text-only plan, it would be perfect.
18. I have two tattoos and want at least two more... one of which is a quarter sleeve. Except, I also want to get married & I don't want to be a bride with tattoos that show... so I'm torn.
19. I can't enjoy Batman, 6 Flags, House, MD or the comic strip Achewood the way I used to, due to stupid ex-boyfriends.
20. I've lost almost 30 pounds in the past year, sans exercise. I can't imagine how much I would have lost if I DID exercise, so I really want to get a gym membership next.
21. Also, I can NEVER spell the word "exercise" without the help of spell check. Something about that word just doesn't make sense to me!
22. I have an intense fear of thin metal. This includes tin foil.
23. I could probably eat sushi every day for the rest of my life and never get sick of it.
24. I really wish the East Coast was as environment and health conscious as the West Coast. I have to drive 30 minutes to get to a health food store, and FORGET if I want to go out to eat and get something fresh, organic and healthy. Even frozen yogurt is hard to come by.
25. I applied for an Ikea credit card and got declined, which was really a blessing in disguise. I would have maxed out that card INSTANTLY.
26. I hate my job! (oh wait, you knew that.)
27. I hate living in CT, but I also feel like I haven't quite figured out where I belong yet.
28. If you can't spell simple words or use simple punctuation, it doesn't matter how smart you are-- I'll probably still think you're dumb.
29. I hate people who constantly try to be "cute". You're an adult for chrissakes, be an adult.
30. I bought a Chanel bag online for $60. It said it was authentic. I've tried to disprove it, but so far I haven't been able to-- I think it might actually BE authentic.
31. I never carry cash and ALWAYS use my debit card for everything. I am also constantly misplacing my ATM card. (It's missing right now, go figure.)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
If you want to be a giant douchebag to me from the second I walk in the door until the moment I leave, you clearly don't want me around anymore. So why not just have me go home? Or fire me? Cut me the fuck loose. You don't have to keep me around just so you can be a miserable bastard ALL.DAY.LONG.
Seriously, people. Today my boss:
1) Made me throw away my lunch and told me "no food at drop off", even though EVERYONE else eats non-stop at work. So I fucking starved all day and now I have stomach pains. THANKS.
2) While I was filling prescriptions, he called over to me in the most condescending voice I've ever heard, "Now Alison. Can you name ONE thing that we could be doing during our downtime here at the pharmacy?" I couldn't believe his gall, and shot him the dirtiest look I could imagine before the phone rang & I answered it without speaking to him.
3) At one point he gave me the talzon (computerized gun thingie that scans and logs products) and asked me (told me, rather.) to cycle-count. As I did it, he FOLLOWED ME AROUND checking to make sure I was actually working.
4) As I was cycle counting, I had to count out a bottle of pills that was opened. I had counted out 25 & there were 5 more pills to count and put back into the bottle, when he was like, "ALISON, are you getting the REGISTER?", to which I nodded, counted the last five pills, and put them into the bottle. He said something like "Counting pills can wait." IT WAS FIVE PILLS. WAIT ONE GODDAMN FUCKING SECOND SO I CAN PUT EVERYTHING BACK IN THE BOTTLE and NOT have to start all over once I get back!!! The customer did not CARE about the one extra MILLISECOND that she had to wait.
FUCK, I need to LEAVE THIS JOB ASAP. No one should have to work with this fucking asshole and I am goddamn sick of taking his crap every day. I am fully capable of doing my job, I have been doing it FINE for THREE FUCKING YEARS NOW before you stuck your nose into everything.
We had a big "work meeting" tonight where important stuff was supposed to be discussed. The gist of it was, Here is how we want you to work harder! And, HERE is what we're taking AWAY from you! (No more cell phone, no more eating in the pharmacy, no more then 3 requests off in a month, no more, no more, no more.)
Seriously. I was about to ask which side the our new swastikas were supposed to go on.
FUCK. THIS. PLACE.
I don't bother to use the site for searching or anything like that, I only use it to read emails that men send me (because, honestly? Some of them are freaking hysterical.)
Here's an actual email I got today:
My name is **** can I chat with you please. can you use a sewing machine. I need help to sew some new blanket binding back on can you help me with that please. I wish you would let me hug you and kiss you. Anywas chat soon sometime when is a good time for you or call me at 555-555-5555*
(Name and phone number have been changed to protect the innocent.)
This email is from a 31 year old American. I am not sure what to think, but the "i wish you would let me hug you and kiss you" part cracked me up.)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Jay & I had a huge yard sale this past Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We raked in $500 and got rid of a ton of our crap, so we were pretty successful. Jay is an awesome salesman, I think he's going to end up going back next weekend and selling the stuff that is left over.
The yard sale was pretty fun, although it was way more exhausting then I thought it would be... just sitting out in the sun for 3 days can really drain you! Our friend Ricky let us borrow his tent and air mattress, and we slept in the backyard during torrential rain and thunderstorms. Apart from being a little cramped while sleeping (we usually sleep on a queen, that mattress was a twin) we both slept better then we have ever slept before. It was pretty awesome.
I started my new job at 6 Flags yesterday... I'm working at a Henna tattoo booth. I was nervous about it at first because although I'm artistic, it's mainly in a photographic sense, and I'm not much for drawing. They're telling me that I'll get better with practice, though, and I hope they're right. I practiced like crazy on myself yesterday, and I have an arm full of henna tattoos that will last 2-4 weeks. I did some easier tattoos on other people... a chinese zodiac symbol (I was proud of that one), some hearts, stars (I'm actually pretty bad with stars...), peace signs... I'm really nervous about some of the larger more complicated tattoos though. The job itself seems very laid back and fun, I'm just having some artistic anxiety.
I am also in the middle of trying to plan a low-key and inexpensive (but also totally awesome) bachelorette party for my best friend Lauren, who is coming back to the States and getting married next month. I cannot wait!
Today I'm off to the bank... must pay some bills, shower and head to work. Yuck.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
(For example, if I was working a 9-5 shift, it might say "9-11: Alison, pick up (also known as register). 11-3: Alison, drop off. 3-5: Alison, production.")
Yesterday, as soon as I walked in at 10 AM, I heard people saying, "Alison is at pickup". They said it several times, loudly, as if they wanted to make sure I was aware of it without actually coming up to me and telling me.
Regardless, there were NO customers to be seen, so I didn't go over and stand at the register. The computer queues were filled up with prescriptions, so I started printing prescriptions and pulling drugs, and answering the phones.
I did this for about an hour, taking a customer here and there. It was a very slow register day, and I spent most of my time assisting people on the phone and filling prescriptions. I do know at one point, I was on the telephone and a customer showed up at the register. Another employee*** got the register. (Note this employee. He's important. He's the one who says, "if I have a problem, I'll tell you to your face." yet then goes behind your back and complains about you. Constantly.)
After an hour of me printing, pulling, answering phones and getting the register, a friend of mine came up to me and said, "You're supposed to be at the register."
I may have snapped at her a little at this point. I said something like, "I KNOW I'm at the register, but there are no CUSTOMERS there."
But, fine. If the pharmacy wanted to waste my time and let themselves get backed up, I would go and stand at the goddamn empty register.
So I did. I brought my water, my protein bar, and at one point I even started to jot down a little list of things that I wanted to buy once I got some money. I relaxed and just stood there. When customers came up, I would help them, but I made no moves to get the phone or help out in any other capacity. They were swamped, but, they had made it pretty clear that I wasn't needed. So I'd just stand there.
This lasted for maybe an hour or two before someone else said, "Alison, (guy) is swamped, can you print and pull?" I muttered something under my breath along the lines of "that's what I was doing before." but went and helped him out anyway. And that was it, no one said anything else about it.
As soon as my shift started, jerk boss called me into the office where there were 2 other people there waiting for me. I couldn't wait to hear what this was about-- they sometimes have "meetings" for the stupidest reasons, for things that could easily be cleared up with just a sentence normally, but for them require extensive documentation and "counseling".
As soon as I heard what I was being accused of, I pretty much lost it. I wish I could say I keep a cool and level head under pressure, but the truth of the matter is, in most cases that is the furthest thing from the truth.
He basically told me that I was getting written up for just "standing around" the day before. I immediately called bullshit and explained the situation the best I could. I was accused of "copping an attitude" and keeping things bottled up until they became big problems. They suggested that whenever I have an issue with anything, instead of letting it fester I should speak up about it immediately.
If I start speaking up about every damn thing in the pharmacy that pisses me off, I am never going to stop talking, and people are going to start hating me very rapidly. Doesn't exactly seem like the game plan for a non-hostile work environment, does it?
***I'm pretty sure, although I have no proof besides my manager taking him in the back of the pharmacy and whispering something to him immediately following our meeting, that THIS employee is the one who complained about me "standing around". Sorry that you had to get the fucking register ONCE, buddy. Hope you didn't over exert yourself as I filled waiters for you and answered the damn phone.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
My computer is giving me a hard time.
My bills are sucking. My hours have been cut at work from 30 a week (which I was barely scraping by with) to 20, and there is no sign of an increase. I've already dropped to part time (against my will) and as such, have lots all of my medical benefits. Yahoo!
Oh, and did I mention that Soverign bank SUCKS, and even though I called to check my balance (and had $80 in my account, and then only spent $25...) I'm STILL somehow overdrawn by $140 dollars? YEAH.
And the "cool boss" is leaving, for good.
Oh, and THIS was posted on the wall at work!
So now, we have to work at a shitty job where half the time there is nothing to DO, and we can't even text (discreetly, behind the counter, AWAY from the view of customers!) in our downtime (and downtime sometimes can last for HOURS.). I'll tell you, I am not happy about this considering especially that the MANAGER texts constantly (he even gets his tweets as text messages!). Texts are pretty much the ONLY form of communication I have between my friends and myself. So there goes my entire social life. Thanks, pharmacy.
(Texting, by the way, was NOT affecting my work IN THE SLIGHTEST.)All I want to do this weekend is go see the new Harry Potter, and spend some stress-free time on a beach... but I can't afford that.
And for some reason, the post office seems unable to deliver some of my mail. wtf.
nothing is going right today.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
At this time in my life, I'm looking around and seeing that most of my friends are getting hitched now. Some would say they are too young at this point, but personally I think 25ish is a decent age to get married, especially if you want children. (Although in this economy I would not be surprised if tons of people end up putting off marriage until they can afford it, and subsequently have trouble conceiving as a result of waiting.)
The thing that I most recently realized though, was this:
The guys that these girls are marrying? They are hardly fine physical specimens. Most of these guys look like they haven't seen their feet in years, and some might even have to dig under fat folds to find their penis. And these guys are in their early 20s! Their metabolism hasn't even begun to slow down yet.
And these girls are going on "wedding diets" when they're already a size 10. Preening and fussing and picking out stationary and dishes and dresses and halls...tanning and getting their hair highlighted and their nails done...
and what do the guys do? diet? not usually.
And, okay, okay. I can see the smoke coming out of your ears already-- I KNOW looks aren't everything. If they love each other, appearance doesn't matter. I should be able to see beyond all this. But I can't. I'm not terribly judgemental, although I'm sure I sound it.
I'm wondering now if it actually takes a man who feels like he's passed his prime (or maybe that he's never had a prime, and this is as good as it's going to get) to actually propose marriage. I feel like there are so many great girls out there that are marriage material (hi, myself included) that get passed over, when they are doing the exact same things that the girls with the shiny diamonds are doing.
Is it because one class of man has high self esteem and while they may love just as fully as lower-self esteem man, they don't sell themselves short of possible future experiences?
I am a glorified cashier at work. This does not mean that I am your goddamn doormat. I'm getting really fucking sick of how I am treated on a daily basis, both by customers, co-workers and bosses. I cannot take much more of the condescending, the not LISTENING to what I'm saying, the bullshit, busybodies, drama and excuses. Do not THROW your money at me. Do not give me an attitude when it is CLEAR you don't know what you're talking about. (Seriously, why does everyone assume they know *exactly* how a pharmacy is run?) I am tired of obese people who can't "afford" their cholesterol meds, but are buying 5 packages of Oreos. I am tired of disgusting old men flirting with me as they order their "happy blue pills" (viagra.). And if ONE more FUCKING person asks me WHAT MY NAME IS or IF I AM NEW, I am going to kill someone. I've been here full time for three years now. I know your name, address, and what meds you are on pretty much by memory. Please, at least have the decency to know my goddamn name-- or at least RECOGNIZE me.
I didn't realize how bad this had all gotten until yesterday. I was helping a woman with something, and at the end of her transaction (which actually took a long time, there was a complicated problem.) she searched me out (even though I was both dealing with another customer & on the telephone at the same time) and thanked me. Actually thanked ME. Didn't say, "Tell [the pharmacist] I said thanks." -- but looked me in the eye, smiled, waved and said a genuine thank you.
I think that was the first time a customer has made me REALLY smile at work. And definitely the first time I've felt like someone appreciated me.
I can't wait until I get a real job somewhere. Can't someone hurry up and fix this rotten economy?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Today, a girl was supposed to be bringing a truck and her brother in law to pick up my old queen mattress set and bedframe. I kept asking her when she was going to stop by, but she never answered me. Finally, I gave her the address and told her to let me know when she would be stopping by.
So I spent nearly ALL of today waiting for her to show up. Finally, I texted her and asked when she was coming (I really hate the telephone..) and she said sorry, but she couldn't get a truck so she wouldn't be stopping by.
It was 3:30 when she finally told me this.
SERIOUSLY? Doesn't common sense and basic human decency dictate that if someone is WAITING around for you, you should inform them as soon as you realize you won't be able to follow through?
This is actually the second person to blow me off in the same fashion. I can't believe people just can't follow through when they make a damn commitment.
Not to mention, I really need the money from this bed and I am starting to get very frustrated with all this!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Part of me wants to somewhat revert to being a teenager-- I want my pink hair back, I want my crazy leopard print sheets and decoupaged black walls. I want more tattoos, I want more live music and more friends and more alcohol. A crazy, mismatched wardrobe.
But there's always part of me that says, "You'll never get a good job with pink hair." and: "You don't want to [maybe possibly eventually] be a bride with tattoos that show."
And there's also a part of me that wants to be tall, skinny, plain model pretty. Which is probably a far cry from what I'll ever be... but I can't silence her.
There's this very... adult, responsible, and somewhat sophisticated side of me that stifles the "me" that I really want to be.
I don't know if I'll ever be satisfied until I can merge the two (three?) somehow...
While I'm at work, I think of millions of rants that I'd love to write about once I get home, but when I actually sit down at my computer, my head goes completely blank. It's very unfortunate.
I spent my 25th birthday in Boston with some people I don't get to see often. It was very nice and made me wish I lived closer. When the time comes for me to make my college decisions, I think my Boston friends will definitely influence my choice of school.
Made some new friends in CT... we went mini-golfing last Sunday, went out to dinner and watched Transformers (the first one, not the most recent one-- I hear it was terrible.). It was nice to hang out with a cool couple our age that Jay & I could kind of relate to. I had a lot of fun and really hope we get to hang out with them more often... I'm bad at the whole 'making friends' thing though, my brain is acting like a teenage boy who just went on a date. "How soon is too soon to call?"... stuff like that. It's silly.
Nothing else particularly interesting to report. I haven't really done any of the things I wanted to this summer... haven't gotten much writing or artwork done, but did sell a pair of earrings.
Oh, I did get my website up and running though! I have more things to add to it still, but you can see it here.