Monday, September 20, 2010

Rolling downhill

I am having an unbelievably shitty day.

Please forgive two negative posts in a row.

On Wednesday, I was supposed to be getting my wisdom teeth out. Now, I wasn't exactly looking forward to this (I've never had surgery before and I was very scared) BUT I realize it has to be done. My wisdom teeth are quite literally rotting and it's affecting my breath (I can't remember the last time I didn't have bad breath) and they're also starting to rot the surrounding teeth.

I was sort of excited about having a total of five or six days to veg on the couch, all doped up and recovering. I envisioned 30 Rock becoming even MORE hysterical while on Percocet.

Today they called to remind me of my appointment. And they "reminded me" to bring $900 for the up-front payment.

Say WHAT? They told me that I was responsible for 25% of the full amount...which is more like $200 (which I HAD).

So, now I've canceled my surgery. Which means I've been paying for dental insurance for no reason, seeing as I'm not going to use it this year.

I am really pissed off. And sure, you might say, "Well, just save the $900. It's not that hard."

Except, it is.

I am paid bi-weekly on Fridays. By Friday night? All the money is gone. I don't get to keep ANY of my paycheck, at all. Not to mention that I'm still trying to save $1,800 for college next fall and around the same amount for a Macbook Pro FOR college.

And it's not that I'm not a hard worker, either. You'd be hard pressed to find a time where I wasn't working at least two jobs, sometimes three. (Right now is no exception. My art and writing aside, I'm still working two jobs and doing an internship.)

And they're decent jobs, too...it's just...between the insurance and the taxes, the every day bills, the credit card bills and the OLD bills...I just can't make shit work.

(And I make 'too much' for welfare, because they do NOT take all of your bills into account! Just electric, not even telephone, which is pretty much a necessity.)

Today it hit me that I might not ever make it. With all this shit piled up, it just may never happen.

I don't know what I'm going to do if that day comes. As it is, it's not looking pretty.

My whole life my mother has been saying, "Just wait a year, we'll have more money next year." And I've even done it to myself, saying, "This is a better job, I'll make more money." And now, "This is a cheaper apartment, this will make it easy for me to save."

But it just never seems to happen.

Something's gotta give.

2 comments:

Little Mel said...

try contacting health safety net. They might be able to do your fillings for free or cheaper. Worth a shot.

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