I mean, think about it. I've spent the last four years being part of a unit. Buying things that you envisioned sharing for the rest of your life--one vacuum, one frying pan, one mattress, one set of dishes and silverware...Jay's got one television, one XBox...
And not at the second, but very soon--these things are going to be divided. And I'll find myself in the market for lots of new things that I won't necessarily have the money to buy because all my bills will double! (No one to pay half of the internet, electric or rent anymore, for example.)
Needless to say, I'm going to find myself "in the market" for a lot of unexpected things. Here's what I've got my eye on...
I have unfortunately been spoiled by Jay's HDTV/LCD television. It's something I never wanted for myself (and definitely didn't see the sense in him buying!) but now that I've gotten used to one, I'm not sure if I could go back. Besides, I need something thin to fit on my windowsill--otherwise I need to get ANOTHER piece of furniture, which I don't want cluttering up my living room. This one is only around $200, which seems pretty decent to me. It also has that neato built in DVD player.
I'll need to get something else to stream Instant Netflix with, but I haven't quite figured that out yet...we use an XBox right now, but I was thinking maybe a Wii because it's cheaper. I don't much play games anyway, but Wii has a few I might occasionally like.
Just a simple bucket that sits on your counter and houses your kitchen utensils. Not a bad price at $17.99. I'm definitely going to need this.
We have the most ridiculous shower curtain now...it's one of those "Psycho" ones with the blood all over it and the man standing with a knife. I hate it, but I dealt with it because Jay thought it was funny, and we didn't really have anything else. It was supposed to be only temporary (but holy hell WHY are shower curtains so pricey?) I will take great pleasure in removing it from my apartment and putting up this curtain in it's place, which will match the walls. (Err...once I'm done painting, that is.)
I know I've posted these before, during Real*Love...but I'll give Jay most of the plates and bowls if I can get these. They're adorable and perhaps a little frivolous, but I'm of the opinion that when you're heartbroken sometimes the only things that make you feel better are the pretty things you've always wanted.
Other things that I'm not looking forward to sorting through:
Towels (who gets what towels? And how many?)
Random papers and articles we pulled out of storage but haven't gone through yet
All the things we "went halfsies" on, like the stand-alone closet, the curtains and rods...
The worst is, I can still remember going to Wal-Mart with Jay when we got our first apartment, all excited about what color we'd decorate the bathroom and what kind of towels to get. We decided on purple, and he decorated the bathroom with little cardboard tiki men he found at iParty. It was hysterical. When he surprised me by putting together my IKEA dresser while I was at work, and when I came home there was a rose in one of the drawers, with a note saying "Just because". I still have that rose.
This shit is so ugly, so hard. I'm either pissed off or I'm crying. He's telling me now we're two puzzle pieces that don't fit, and that we tried to fit for so long. He tells me "You love me like you love Major Tom (our cat)." But he's wrong. And one day he's going to realize this and be sorry...but it will be too late.
I really just hope this entire situation isn't born of snow and depression. Or, rather, maybe I hope it is...?
I don't know. I love him and am being bombarded from all sides by "you'll find someone better" and "he treated you like shit", while all I can think is that I love him, and that I understand him. And while my biggest complaint was always that he wasn't affectionate enough, or that he wasn't on the same schedule as I was--I understood why. Which people only see as me "making excuses" for him, but I don't see it that way. I know neither of us are perfect and we have growing to do. But is it so wrong to want to stay with someone and grow together?
Bleh. Dark days over here lately.