Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Wet Blanket Attends a Concert, Part Two:

So, the main purpose of me going to New York City is that Bright Eyes, one of my favorite bands, was on their last tour ever, and I had gotten ONE ticket to their Radio City Music Hall show.

I hadn't been to a concert since 2006, but when I heard it was their last ever show before breaking up, I knew I had to do it.  I didn't really have the money, but I went ahead and bought just one ticket anyway.

I was super excited when I first bought the ticket, but by the time the concert rolled around, I was having buyers remorse.  That, coupled with the depressing events of my life lately, and the emotional impact of Bright Eyes' music, left me with little desire to actually see the show.  But I sucked it up and went anyway.

The following is a series of thoughts that went through my head that proved to me that I am too old and grumpy to attend concerts anymore.

(Disclaimer:  I am not an actual grumpy, downer bitch all the time.  I think I've really just outgrown concerts!  Plus I am kind of becoming an old lady.)

1.  I wonder if there's a special school guitarists go to, to learn their moves.  All the moves are the same.  If I'm ever a guitarist I'm going to do something outrageously different...like, ballet.

2.  This opening act is boring.  [looks around]  I wonder where everyone else is.  I guess they had the foresight to come after the opening acts.  I wonder what these girls names are.  That one looks like a Sarah.  And that one is an Amy...or maybe an Amber.  That girl is definitely a J name...like, Jocelyn.

3.  Oh my God, that guy in front of me looks and is dressed exactly like Paul McCartney.  I wish I could ask to take his picture.

4.  Did that guy really just say "My gap feels weird"?  What are the kids singing about these days?

5.  I'm tired.  Oh my God, it's 9:30 and Bright Eyes hasn't even gone on yet!  I wonder if I should leave...

6.  Yay!  Bright Eyes!

7. Oh, no.  Why is everyone standing up?  Now no one behind them can see and we ALL have to stand up.  Are they going to stand for the whole show?  But...this chair is comfortable.  Dammit.  I guess I'll have to stand too.

8.  OUCH!  Do they have to shine these lights right in my eyes?  I'm already getting hearing damage from the speakers...do they have to blind me too?

9.  Hmm.  I thought I was a big Bright Eyes fan...but I don't know half of these songs.  This sucks.  I wonder if they'll play [favorite song 1] or [favorite song 2].  If they don't, I might as well leave.

10.  Do I smell skunk?  In New York City?  Inside a building?  I didn't think there were skunks in big cities.  Oh...oh, my God.  That's not a skunk, that's just cheap pot.  Wow, I'm old.

11.  Wow, it's 11:00.  I should be asleep by now.  Maybe I should leave...  (to be fair, the train was over an hour home and then an additional hour car ride!)


I have learned from this experience.  I'm just not cut out for concerts anymore! Not a big deal considering I've seen everyone I want to see, aside from Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen.  And do they even tour anymore?

If I go to another concert I'm going to have to have a few drinks beforehand, haha.

1 comment:

Little Mel said...

I'm older than you and I still go to concerts! :-P