Sunday, April 10, 2011

More kale and tofu than a vegetarian could stand...

Or: 8 days of peace & music
I am back from Goddard now...and how the hell do I explain what just happened?  It was a bizarre and intense experience that I suppose only happens when you throw the artsy, literary and intellectual people together for eight days, take away most forms of deodorant (direct quote from Meg: "Tom's of Maine can suck my dick!"), mix in some alcohol and see what you get.  I have a feeling this is exactly what the 60's felt like.

I'm really not sure what just happened.  I've come away from things different, with a very distinct feeling that although I am isolated at home--there are more people like me out there.  I have never met so many kindred spirits.

There's disappointment, too.  I may or may not have met a guy there...who may or may not have a girlfriend?  I don't even know.  I'm not naive...I'm just hopeful, and so often let down that now I find it hard to trust what people tell me, if there's any sign at all in opposition.  I want to let go and live and trust.  But I also don't want to get hurt and find myself foolish ever again.  I wish I was one of those people who found their soulmate right away and never had to deal with this crap.  It must have been so easy for them.

Speaking of soulmate, I was lucky enough to meet Meg (hi Meg!), who is awesome and lots of fun.  We have deemed each other soulmates (maybe soulsister is more appropriate? but that makes me want to sing Lady Marmalade...) because we keep finding random things we have in common.

All in all, things are different now.  I moved back home to an empty apartment, a very sad cat, a change in my self esteem, and a weird feeling about life in general.  Not good, not bad, just...weird.  It's going to take some sorting out, I think.

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