...don't say anything at all. Right?
Don't get me wrong--I am NOT a saint in this regard. I can be quite judgmental at times, but for the most part I keep my comments to myself.
Now, while some people could see this as worse (because now I'm just talking behind people's backs, right?) I think it's preferable. Because just because *I* think it's gross that you look like a Person of Wal-Mart doesn't mean you particularly care what I think.
But today a co-worker of mine (who has only ever spoken to me once or twice before*) turned to me as I was preparing to leave for the day and said, "WOW! Did you just roll out of bed or what?"
I did a quick mental once-over. I was fully clothed in my usual work attire. I had my glasses on, my face was washed, teeth brushed--hell, I even had LIPSTICK on. (This is a new development, normally I'm a Carmex girl, but I've discovered that wearing lipstick makes me NOT pick my lips. Huzzah, New Years Resolution!)
Normally I'd be meek and quiet and let this go. But not this time.
"Excuse me?" I asked, loudly and indignantly. I wanted to give her a chance to really hear what she had said to me and think of how COMPLETELY RUDE it sounded.
"Your hair is all a mess." She said, clearly not apologetic, nor backing down.
"I have curly hair." I said, dumbfounded and flabbergasted, flushing, thinking maybe she was too dumb to notice. "I straighten it usually."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." She said, turning away from me and ending the conversation.
When I got home that day, I expected my hair to be in a pretty sorry state to illicit such a comment. But, seriously folks--it's just CURLY. Not unruly curly, either. I had it half up in a small bun and half down, much like the below picture.
Later today someone commented to me on Twitter and I discovered it was a man who has exclusively dedicated his account to bashing women who choose to NOT wear nylons. He calls them "trashy" and "disgusting", among other things. If a woman comments that she's wearing nylons, he thanks her for "keeping it classy", but mostly it's filled with hate speech.
People take such joy in bringing others down. It's very sad, and the internet is a powerful tool for good or evil--and evil pretty much prevails. I'd like this to be different. Hell, I'd like people in real life to be different too.
Personally, I make it a point to leave nice comments whenever possible. That's not to say I've never disagreed or had a bad day and said something nasty--I unfortunately have done my share of negative comments too. (Example: I may or may not have called nylons man a creep and an asshole. Not exactly practicing what I preach...) But I sometimes look at my Facebook feed and think, "Can I say something nice to someone today?" And I can. So I do.
I think more people should. There's so much negativity out there, we should all try to spread something positive now and again.
Paying it forward, kind of.
Just a thought.
*The only other thing that woman has said to me, that I can recall? She looked at me with disdain one day and said, "You need to bleach your shirt." Real nice. Technically, she was accurate. But still, can you open your mouth without nitpicking? Sheesh...