I always get these sweet southern ladies when I call up my internet provider. They're absurdly friendly and we usually end up laughing about stupid shit and it's pretty amusing.
Today was no exception. We laughed and she made fun of me having to haul out a LADDER to switch off my modem. We got my internet fixed.
And then she tried to "give" me a free month of cable TV. To which I told her that I didn't have a TV.
(this is a lie, sort of. Shaun brought a TV over to my place ages ago so we could watch DVDs, but I never use it--and since I don't have cable hookups or a digital antenna, it doesn't get any channels.)
She sucked in a shocked breath and asked incredulously, "You don't have a TV?"
I said, "No, I'm one of those weird people without a TV."
She told me, "Well, you can watch our digital channels online."
I said, "Well, yes. But I'm also a student, so me having a month of free cable isn't exactly a good idea."
She said, "Please. I was a nursing student and I couldn't live without my TV."
(I didn't point out the sheer irony that she was now doing phone tech support and not, y'know, nursing.)
She went on to ask me what I was studying. When I told her I was a Creative Writing major and am finishing up my "first" novel, she said...
"Well, you can watch TV and it will make your novel even better."
Talk about a stretch. This lady should work for Kirby or something.